It’s fair to say that motherhood came as a complete shock to me.  During my first pregnancy, I remember thinking how lovely it was going to be to have a year off work and how I couldn’t wait to spend my days meeting other mums in coffee shops.  I was so excited about the new chapter in my life.  

 

As my due date approached (and went) the ideal birth that I was hoping for now started to become less of a reality and the start of a catalyst of things to come.  I ended up being induced ten days past my due date which did not go well, and I had a horrible and traumatic birth.  It was touch and go for me and the baby, and the opposite of how you would want to bring a baby in to this world.  I felt like so much of the birth was out of my control and I struggled mentally and physically afterwards.

 

Following the birth, I have lots of physical complications which added to the stress and overwhelm, and a baby who had quite severe colic and reflux.

 

My reality was far from the perfect picture of motherhood that I had imagined, and I found the transition hard and really struggled in those few first months.  Looking back, I think I had post-natal depression, however I didn’t do anything about it.  I was battling so many mixed emotions, the desire to be a great mum and love my child unconditionally, whilst feeling so much guilt and hurt around how things had happened.  So, I suppressed the feelings and tried to get on with things as best as I could.

 

My second birth was the exact opposite.  It was a lovely experience.  Calm, peaceful and dare I say it, pretty easy!  I felt like I had been given the opportunity to put things right and felt relieved that I’d had a ‘normal’ birth.

 

However, I still found myself suffering with depression and anxiety in the months afterwards.  This time, I sought help though rather than bottle it all up inside which helped me to feel more normal and in control again.

 

When my youngest was about 9 months old, I set up my first business in direct selling.  I felt so excited for the future and couldn’t wait to make a success of the business.  My plan was to go back to work part time after my maternity leave ended and run my business along-side my job.  I ended up taking redundancy though and made the decision that I would never be employed again.

 

It was an ok start with some initial success, however I wasn’t getting the results I wanted, and I was finding it hard to juggle family life and work.  I often felt frustrated and like I was running around in circles, not really showing up as a great mum, and not really driving my business forwards either.

 

In 2016, I happened to be on a webinar which was hosted by my now business coach and mentor, and that one session completely changed my life.  For the first time I was beginning to get answers about the fears, doubts, depression and anxiety that I had been feeling and I realised that I didn’t have to feel that way and that there was a way forward.  

 

I began personal coaching which enabled me to let go of events from the past and start to look forward to the future.  Following that, I was given the opportunity to train and study to become a certified coach and I jumped at the chance.  I knew that if I could have a breakthrough, then it would be possible for others to have the same experience too and I wanted to help people improve their lives.

 

I set up my coaching business in 2017 and I have never looked back!  I’m coming up to the 5-year anniversary in my business and I have achieved some incredible things.

 

One of my biggest learnings has been how to balance family life and business.  I am now able to be fully present when I am with my boys, and when I’m working, I can completely focus on my business.  

 

This isn’t as easy with little children at home but having boundaries and being realistic about what I can achieve has always helped.  We can achieve a lot in a really short space of time if there is a clear plan of action to follow. I also regularly check in with my goals and why I’m doing what I’m doing.  Business can be tough sometimes with many ups and down so I use my goals to motivate me and navigate a way forwards.

 

I also rely on accountability and support to keep me on track towards my goals.  Past experience has taught me that it is hard to go it alone so now I make sure that I surround myself with people that inspire, motivate and lift me up.

 

Life is definitely a journey, and we can learn so much from where we’ve come from, and use that knowledge to create a better life for ourselves.

 

Nicky xx